Letter to Mr. Tkach from Mignon Rubio
Copyright © Jules Dervaes
June 12, 1995
Dear Mr. Tkach:
A few years ago, I could not have written any letter to you as it would have been difficult, if not impossible, for me to have felt any Christian sentiments upon hearing that you were ill. And, even now, there is a struggle inside me to concern myself with your condition in any meaningful way that would help you out during this time.
I would rather let this be a short superficial note without having to go into any depth about anything or without having to deal with the real issues of life that should concern us all. In this particular case, I have an even harder time because I still wrestle with the bitterness in me toward you for the changes that occurred in my life over the recent years.
The anger still wells up inside when I mentally relive the events leading up to the disfellowshipping of my former husband, Jules Dervaes. It’s there again when I recall that NO MINISTER in the WCG ever cared to address in any meaningful way the letters he wrote about the Laodicean Era. Yet, some of these men have left the Church over the same reasoning.
Not having the FAITH in God that I should have had and not developing a real marriage relationship through true SUBMISSION to my ex-husband, I tired of this whole Laodicean message when it affected me personally and, as I viewed it, adversely. What I failed to realize is that NOT dealing with the Laodicean message AS IT AFFECTS ME PERSONALLY is what will affect me adversely, not the other way around.
Maybe you will remember me as the woman who could hold a banner with Jules Dervaes one month, then switch sides and run to the ***’s the next, saying that Jules Dervaes was wrong. The years since have been turbulent ones for me, for after being disfellowshipped, divorce from Mr. Dervaes soon followed. I had squandered, and then eventually, lost my position as his wife, something I never dreamed could happen even though I knew I harbored a secret rebellion toward him and his values for years.
There has been, and continues to be, much to change in my life; and one of the most important changes I need to make is to try to become and stay committed to the truth or a person even when doing so brings personal suffering. As Mr. Dervaes has tried to teach me, we all will have to suffer; but to suffer for one’s sins and foolish choices is human; to suffer for doing right—godly. And since I have always avoided feeling the pain necessary for growth even humanly, I subsequently lost many opportunities to learn the lessons in life that I could have.
Because we still subscribe to The PLAIN TRUTH and read the Pasadena Star News, we are aware of the doctrinal changes, the “splits,” and the financial turmoil within the Church. We also know about the former WCG ministers who have recently started separate churches. But Mr. Dervaes has consistently taught us (his four children and me) that there is no other place (church) to go.
He has also always believed that God has allowed you to sit in Moses’ seat for His purposes. Thus, it is not up to any man to challenge that position with a counter “church.” This understanding helps us to deal with the unpleasant events and wrong feelings when we realize that what has transpired since ’86 was all a part of God’s plan and that there are lessons to be learned that could not have been taught any other way.
There is now an opportunity within the Dervaes family to make amends for my non-committed, faithless nature by submitting to a higher cause and working toward a purpose outside myself. But this, along with the damage that I have caused in my family’s life, will take a lifetime to redress.
I gave you a little background to help you understand where I’m coming from and where I’m headed. This now brings me to the hardest part of this letter and why I am writing: Your illness is God’s way of getting your attention. He tried to warn you gently through Mr. Dervaes’ letters to Laodicea and then with the banners.
Later, not even the financial and doctrinal crises were enough to awaken you. But now you have a chance to respond to him correctly through this critical time.
God demands two things from us before He will heal us-faith and obedience. What EVERYONE is lacking today are faith and obedience. I am praying that you will respond to God’s merciful chastening before it is too late.
In Christian love,
Mignon Rubio